Healthy relationships are one of the corner stones of life, the very fabric of connection that adds meaning and purpose to what we do. Without quality relationships a person can be left feeling lonely, valueless and aimless. Brene Brown says, “Connection is why we’re here.” So how can you ensure your relationships are healthy and will stand the test of time, whether it be a friendship, partnership, as a parent or otherwise?
A sign of a healthy relationship is…
You can comfortably, without any fear of offending, being judged or feeling guilty say “No” when you want to. For many, this is not easy. It can feel downright rude, awkward, going against the social norm and highly risky. Often this skill is something which needs to be re-learned later in life because early conditioning around ‘politeness’ causes it to disappear from conversation.
The fact is - relationships thrive on honesty. It may not always be comfortable or agreeable, but it’s solid. It builds trust and it’s easy to respect someone and value them when they are confident to say what they mean and mean what they say. You’ll find people who are able to say “No” easily, spend much less time going around in circles negotiating boundaries, are more likely to get help when they need it and experience far less stress. More importantly, they have very healthy and sustainable relationships, friendships deeply connected and full of trust.
Be the first to stretch your ‘No’ muscles
If you really value someone, being the first to say “No” gives them a rare gift, making your relationship a place of comfort and security. How? Because you give both yourself and them permission to be exactly as you truly are, honestly and openly, without having to justify, explain or excuse it. You’ll create a relationship in which both people can relax, be themselves and trust that no matter what, they’re accepted and loved. “No” is healthy. Only you can know what’s right for you, so choose freely.
“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It’s very easy to say yes.” Tony Blair
In summary:
- Healthy relationships increase self-worth, meaning and purpose.
- One sign of a healthy relationship is that you can say “No” safely and with ease.
- Freedom of choice is a gift you can give both yourself and others.
About the authors:
Bare Hands is run by allied health professionals committed to helping women embrace positive change by providing access to practical education. To find out more visit www.barehands.com.au
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